pollygolightly

Happy Birthday Baby. It's been quite the year, hasn't it? Who would have ever imagined I would have an infant in my house? Not me. It's funny how life gives you what you always thought you wanted.... sometimes to show you that it wasn't what you wanted at all. Remember the movie "Under the Tuscan Sun"? At the end, someone helps the main character reflect on how everything she hoped for came true, just in a different way than how she had imagined it would happen. I've spent a lot of the last 3 years of my life trying to reframe my situation and be thankful I was given the opportunity to be a parent, to have a baby in my house, to have a family. It's been the hardest 3 years of my life, but it's all up from here. I've learned a lot this year, and I'm gonna guess I'll be learning a lot more in the years to come. I hope you grow up knowing I'm always here for you, if you need something I'll come back running. love ya baby. ❤  

9/4/18 I'm not sure if it's "normal" to actually be considering working several part-time jobs along with my full-time job at this stage in my life. It's not that I need the money specifically, but I want the connections. I want to be around people who love what they do, whether that be triathlon, track and field, reading, crafting, or quilting. I've done 3 weekend stints with a triathlon company out of Michigan. If I did it every weekend, I think I could be really good at it, it's like throwing a party in a different location every weekend. Of course, if I'm there every weekend, I can't be at my "real" job; which doesn't really work for most of the people there. How do you decide that you are going to stay at a job, or change to another? how do you find something you're passionate about rather than just something that pays the bills? My dad worked in a factory his entire life to give my brother and I the opportun

February 10, 2018. an important person in my life died. not a relative; not someone i saw on a daily basis; or even a yearly basis actually, but so important in my life. it's been a month and i'm still sad. maybe i wouldn't have been so sad if i could go to the memorial service, but it just wasn't something i could get to. The problem is, i don't want to go to any of my other trips now either. The planning used to excite me and now it seems just a struggle.   I couldn't finish this at the time.... it's tough to say goodbye to someone who has been in your life, your entire life. Whose life is intertwined with your childhood, your parent's lives and an amazing trip to Spain. It's been months and I still cry at the loss... but I have small reminders that let me think good thoughts, happy thoughts, and I know you are up there cheering me on. RIP Nancy. 💔💔💔